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23 Mar




Written about 2 months ago….


Even as I took the test, I was sure that it was negative. My cycle was off around this time last year, and those tests were all negative, so I figured this was the same situation.

I don’t take the tests like they do in the movies and on TV, where they actually wait the 3 minutes, talk about the what-ifs, and then look. I don’t take my eyeball off that strip until I see or don’t see the lines.

This was a completely different experience than my last 6 pregnancies, where I was hoping and praying I’d see that extra line. I was super casual, just wanting to confirm what I already knew, that our family of 6 was complete. But when that second line started to show up, ever so faintly, I blinked repeatedly, rubbed my eyes, and dropped my jaw in the biggest shock of my life. As a million thoughts ran through my head in a matter of seconds, that positive line just got darker and more solid, confirming that our lives were about to be way different than we had planned.

With my past pregnancies, I always shared the exciting news with Josh in a cute or fun way. This time, I was so shocked, that I just intercepted him in the hallway and shoved the test into his line of vision. He didn’t even know what I was showing him! He was the one who bought the test for me, but he was just as casual about it as I was. He had even forgotten that I was taking the test.

We both just stared at each other for a few seconds, with eyes as big as saucers. Then we hugged, cause that’s what you’re supposed to do. Then we just kept shouting out random thoughts throughout the day. “We need more wipes!” “No maternity coverage! Does that mean no epidural?” “I want to name him Jedi” (That was Josh) “What about coaching?!”

Here are some of the other thoughts that have crossed my mind over the last few weeks...

– I don’t have a stitch of maternity clothing. (Although my sister in law and my mom came through with a great stash for me! Thanks!!!)

– Just when I thought we were done with diapers FOREVER!

– We need to get a new dining table. Ours only sits 6.

– We no longer have maternity coverage on our insurance, so we’re going to have to do this jungle-style.

– This is a tie-breaker! One gender is about the outnumber the other. Well, Bella says that we have 4 boys and 3 girls in our family, because Bo is as much of a sibling as the humans in her life.

– We’re definitely finding out the gender. The gender-reveal celebrations are kind of new since my last gender revealing ultrasound (Deacon), and I thought we wouldn’t get to experience the fun. I was wrong!

– I have been getting rid of EVERYTHING as Caleb grows out of it. Clothes, toys, sippy cups, stuffed animals. We’ll have to get all new gear!

– It might take a while to wrap my mind around the fact that Caleb isn’t the baby of the family!

– I’m SO excited to nurse again!

– 5 kids….whew!


So, all of that was written in the few days after we found out, around 5 weeks along. Now I’m almost 14 weeks along, so it’s starting to sink in. There is a reason God gives us 40 weeks to get used to the idea! I think it’ll take me that long. I honestly didn’t really believe it until I went to the doctor two weeks ago. When the ultrasound tech turned the screen towards me and I saw my little 2″ miracle give a stretch and a wiggle, I just started laughing.

The baby measured 11 weeks, which was a few days further along than I had thought. After the dr appointment, we went ahead and decided to tell the kids. Here’s the video…

It was fun to tell them, especially the girls, since they are old enough to appreciate the significance. The entire drive home from the restaurant, they talked about names. The girls cycled through the American Girl names, and Deacon hit all of the Star Wars names (Sorry, buddy, Obiwan is out.) Josh threw out “butthead” which was received by roaring laughter.

HOW I’VE FELT…..I’ve felt nauseous and tired since 6 weeks, but I think I’m on the upswing now. I was less nauseous  (meaning, I never threw up) than I was with Caleb and Deacon, so it might be a girl???

I feel so much better if I exercise, but it’s so hard to get out and exercise when I’m not feeling great! What a pickle! Speaking of… pickles always sound so great to me, but they are expensive and hard to find, so that’s one craving that I have to skip. My aversions have jumped around. Sometimes chicken sounds great, and sometimes it triggers a Lloyd Christmas gag. Burgers ALWAYS sound amazing, and french fries are even better. Pizza, yes please! Anything carbalicious hits the spot, and I’ve always said that nothing feels as satisfying as giving into a pregnancy craving. I’ve been eating more this pregnancy than I remember in the others, so I might be on my way to gaining more weight than ever!

I’m still totally intimidated about having 5 kids, and SOOOOO not up for another labor, but since the decision has been made for me by the One with the perfect plan for us, I’m totally cool with it and know that years from now, I’ll wonder what life was like before the addition of this beautiful child!!!